I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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