he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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