Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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