so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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