OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
