All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
