69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
