I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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