Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
