I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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