Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
