Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
