Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
