You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Shame - the story of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
