508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
