How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
