we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
