I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
