FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
