so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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