her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
