**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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