Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His hands were made for my vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
