i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
