I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
