It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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