i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
