if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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