Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out