Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??