i permit you to call me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure