i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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