She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
