Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize