I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.