u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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