yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?