Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
