he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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