it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize