I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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