The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
