yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My balls are so social today.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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