Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
