and she was petting her beer can
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
