Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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