We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
