My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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