I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
