I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
