talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
