I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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