if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize