He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize