Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
