i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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