How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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