tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
