covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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