you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
